signs of life.

finally today i feel almost human again. that cold i caught -- wow. it totally kicked my ass this weekend. all day saturday i had this unbearable sinus/migraine headache that pulsated through my entire face and jaw. my eyebrows hurt. my hair hurt. my teeth hurt. i spent most of the weekend on the couch with kirby.

on sunday night, as i sat nearly comatose in front of the television, kirby jumped up fast and gapsed - a reaction i've come to know as "shit, a bug" or more specifically, "shit, a big roach." somehow defying my headache, i too jumped and reached for the Raid, only to hear kirby say it was too late, the bug ran under the couch.

despite my throbbing migraine hangover, and despite having my glasses on because my eyes were tearing up constantly, i got on my hands and knees and peered under the couch with a flashlight. i saw no movement, but i blasted some Raid anyway, in a general, left-to-right movement. i regeretted it almost instantly, as the "fresh garden" scent penetrated my nose and eyeballs and made me want to cry voluntary tears in addition to the ones already streaming from my eyes.

i crawled back up on the couch to finish watching the movie. about a half hour later, i felt a tickle on my arm. being extra jumpy lately because of the "i think i have bedbugs" thing, i quickly rolled my arm to see what was tickling me. to my horror, an inch-long roach was on my forearm. i jumped up, smacked it off, and burst into tears.

"WHY IS MY WHOLE APARTMENT FILLED WITH BUGS!?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!?! FUCKING NEW YORK! FUCKING ROACHES!"

crying did me no good, because i was already so congested, and it sure as hell didn't make the bugs go away. so i sat back down to watch the rest of the movie through gloopy, teary eyes.



on monday i returned to work against my will, trying to muscle through all the work we have, only to find out my other key colleague had called in sick with a cold. that didn't piss me off TOO much.

but today, i'm feeling okayish. and while that is good news, it is unfortunately not the only sign of life in my bedroom. i'm also getting MORE BITES.

still they're all on my arms, and much easier to detect now thanks to my genius sharpie trick. but now i have these two obnoixious bites on my wrists, in nearly identical locations on each arm -- right upon that knobby radial wristbone. and boy, do these mofos itch. like seriously, painfully itch. and they're so red, and so obvious to a casual observer, that i'm increasingly embarrassed of my plight. i told only one person at work about my "situation" (to which her response was "FUCK!"), but i bet everyone else thinks i'm some dirty girl with poor hygiene. and they don't even know i had a roach on my arm. ugh. how gross. it's all just so gross.

i also told a few people in my family of the increasing likelihood that i have bedbugs. everyone seems to know someone who had to deal with this, and it is never a good story. never. it only makes me further dread the mess ahead of me, which i've been putting off by using hardcore denial tactics. but even denial can't make these itchy welts go away.