the death throes.

the countdown is on. the lease on my apartment ends in about five days and 4 hours. (and i have confirmed that it is illegal to not renew my rent-stabilized lease unless a non-renewal notice was sent no less than 90 days before termination of the lease so...there's that.

earlier this week i sent a letter to the management company - certified, return receipt requested - stating my intent to vacate on the 30th, and a bunch of other details. and tonight i called my super and told him my plan to leave and the situation with the bug-infested furniture. he was actually very apologetic, even sympathetic, and sounded like he'll be very cooperative with me in the next few days.

he offered to "spray my furniture" if i wanted to keep it, but i know the spray he plans to use is not bed-bug octane, and i know it does NOT do the trick, so i don't want to think it works and then take new bugs/eggs with me to my nice clean NEW apartment. so he said he'll treat the apartment after i leave with the furniture in it. mmm-hmmm.

so i will spend my whole weekend not just packing, but attempting to debug everything in my new $300 packtite heating unit. the thing has already paid for itself by preventing me from having to repurchase about $600 worth of books. there's soooo much to do, and i have to do it alone because i'm too afraid to let my friend help me at the risk of them bringing bugs home with them, so i really should stop blogging and get back to the packing.

you win some, you lose some.

despite my nightly routine mattress checks, i woke up the other day with two bites on my arm. i was furious. that night, i inspected my bed again, found nothing, and was very annoyed that something had clearly bitten me and i couldn't find it.

when i woke up the next morning, i found a dead bed bug and a smear of blood near the foot of the mattress. i wanted to cry. in fact, i did cry. this is an endless battle, and i'm losing it daily. i feel like sisyphus, doomed to an eternity of constant and pointless struggle.

so i took a photo of the bug and blood, and then collected the bug and added it to my list of captured specimens. i then checked my legs for further bites and found one on my foot. then i had to get ready for work.

when i got home that night, i ran into my neighbor who had a recent court date. i hadn't yet heard the results, so i stopped and asked him. he said it went really well, that he won his case, had his rent reduced to $450, and that exterminators were scheduled to come the next day. in his next breath, he told me that the rent invoice he'd received that day had a ton of legal fees listed on it -- the building management was now trying to charge him for the fees on the case that he just won. what the hell kind of sick logic is that?!

i told him that i still had no lease renewal offer and it seems the management is handing me my hat, but in the most passive manner possible.

so, no one is really winning. we all keep losing in different ways. but i definitely need to think about my legal options, and whether i have the time to exercize them.

you can so freakin' bite me!

Last night, duly exhausted from changing time zones, I went to bed without doing my routine bug checks.

This morning, I woke up to find two bites on my left wrist. Red itchy welts, staring right back at me.

Reality is finally setting in. It is now about 5 weeks until my lease expires, and I've heard nothing from the management about renewing (or not renewing). I think it's time to start looking for new apartment, and a new bed, and a new sofa, and a variety of other things I will need to dispose of and repurchase when I get to a new, bug-free environment.

I've been meaning to talk to my neighbor, too, to see how his day in court went. He felt rather certain he was going to win expenses for damages. I might have to take that route myself...

they lie in wait.

I was out of town for several days, and worried the whole time that I might infect the homes I was satying in. I was as careful as I could be without buying all new clothes upon arrival (like I did with a prior trip).

I came home a few nights ago and resumed my nightly bed checks. I found nothing...until tonight.

I do suspect that when I'm gone for a bit and the buggers have no one to feed on, they are slightly less active. When I return home, they sense it, and show up a couple days later.

It also reminds me that the 30 days has passed since my landlords received a violation for the bugs, and they've done nothing to follow up with me. In addition, my lease is up at the end of september and I haven't received a renewal offer yet. I'm not banking on them sending one.

But the same thing will happen to the next lucky duck that moves in. I think it should be illegal for a landlord to rent the unit to a new tenant if bedbugs have been confirmed and not yet eraticated in the unit. A loss of income on the unit will hurt more than the expense of proper extermination.

here we go again.

not like it ever stopped, but, it looks like we're in for another round.

last night i plucked two tiny bugs off my boxspring. tonight i plucked two more, also very tiny, as well as six very small discarded shells. this leads me to believe that another generation has hatched and is launching attack on me.

i still just wish i knew where the hell they were coming from.

and i wish i knew when there would be an end to this.

also, last night, i came home to a note under my door. my downstairs neighbor, the one who is being evicted for deducting extermination costs from his rent, shoved a note under everyone's door in an effort to rally the troops somehow. i guess i ought to send him an email. i'm ready to rally.

and...another one.

These nightly bed inspections sure are paying off! I found another bed bug tonight, nestled in and waiting to feast on me while I slept.

I wonder, though, when they do their traveling. They're not in the bed when I check in the morning, but they're here when I check at night. And where do they keep coming from that as I capture each one (and tape it to a piece of paper and date it for evidence), new ones continue to appear?

It's no way to live, I can say that much.

Warranty of Habitability

WARRANTY OF HABITABILITY

Taken from http://www.housingnyc.com/html/resources/attygenguide.html

Tenants are entitled to a livable, safe and sanitary apartment. Lease provisions inconsistent with this right are illegal. Failure to provide heat or hot water on a regular basis, or to rid an apartment of insect infestation are examples of a violation of this warranty. Public areas of the building are also covered by the warranty of habitability. The warranty of habitability also applies to cooperative apartments, but not to condominiums. Any uninhabitable condition caused by the tenant or persons under his direction or control does not constitute a breach of the warranty of habitability. In such a case, it is the responsibility of the tenant to remedy the condition. (Real Property Law §235-b)

If a landlord breaches the warranty, the tenant may sue for a rent reduction. The tenant may also withhold rent, but in response, the landlord may sue the tenant for nonpayment of rent. In such a case, the tenant may countersue for breach of the warranty.

Rent reductions may be ordered if a court finds that the landlord violated the warranty of habitability. The reduction is computed by subtracting from the actual rent the estimated value of the apartment without the essential services.

A landlord's liability for damages is limited when the failure to provide services is the result of a union-wide building workers' strike. However, a court may award damages to a tenant equal to a share of the landlord's net savings because of the strike. Landlords will be liable for lack of services caused by a strike when they have not made a good faith attempt, where practicable, to provide services.

In emergencies, tenants may make necessary repairs and deduct reasonable repair costs from the rent. For example, when a landlord has been notified that a door lock is broken and willfully neglects to repair it, the tenant may hire a locksmith and deduct the cost from the rent. Tenants should keep receipts for such repairs.

Sweet dreams!

Well, well, well. Look what I found in my bed last night during a routine bedbug inspection! Not one, but TWO fairly large bed bugs! And slightly elongated which indicates that they're well fed -- no surprise there. (See yesterday's photos.)





















The first one was hiding just between the boxspring and mattress. The second one was tucked into the little fold of my boxspring cover, so I grabbed him AND the discarded shells of him or his vampirous buddies. And all the black specks? Poop. A small fraction of what's all over the boxspring cover.

I can't decide if finding these little bastards helps me sleep easier, because I know I took away the likely culprits, or makes sleep harder, because I know there could be more that I didn't find.

Either way, I don't think I have any new bites in new places. So just for now, I want to believe that I can catch these little blood-suckers, two at a time if need be, so I can get a good night's sleep once in a while.

(But for the record, I had a rather unpleasant dream that I was admitted to the hospital indefinitely while people tried to figure out what was wrong with me.)

still waiting on that independence...

So, courtesy of feeling very under the weather all last night and this morning, and consequently spending a lot of time lying horizontally on my couch and my bed, I now have a higher one-night bite tally than I have in a while.

First it was the one on my neck. That's a relatively unusual spot to find a bite, but there it was. Like a flashing red light.

Then, it was this cluster on my left arm. Hard to say how many, because my body reacts with quick swelling and redness, but I'd say 6-10. I read about bed bugs that they may just bite in a line right down your body, or like...take a bite, and step to the left, repeat -- and leave clusters like these.

And finally, there's the buffet on my right shin, which leads me to believe the little bastards are hiding in the foot-end of my bed again -- in addition to the head. Awesome. I'm being blitzed. Again, I'd say about 8-10 bites.

And this isn't even all of them. There are one-off bites too: one on my hand, my upper thigh, back of my other elbow.

I suspect that one of the reasons I got super chowed last night was that I actually slept, because of the medication I took to remedy feeling sick. The goal was to knock me out so I wouldn't be in pain all night, but the side effect is I lie perfectly still when these things are biting me, allowing them to continue feasting. So, the battle continues: a good night sleep? Or a bite-free body?

And let's not forget that it's finally July, and finally sunny and hot, and I'm so embarrassed by my body that I want to wear long sleeve turtleneck and long pants to go out in public. But at least it's a weekend, where I can hide at home. Tomorrow I have to deal with it and go to work wearing the evidence of my infestation on my sleeve...literally.

city housing inspection - check!

so, of all days, the city housing inspector comes knocking on my door today, the 4th of july, independence day. the day for me to gain independence from bedbugs! [cue inspiring orchestral music]

but seriously. i expected a CALL from the housing authority within 72 hours, and never got it. and now the guy shows up TODAY, completely unannounced?? good thing i was home, in sweats, wearing no bra, scratching a new bite on my shin and sweeping the floor when he arrived. of all days to pretty much ensure you won't find anyone at home - this is among them. i just happen to have no life, so i was home.

so anyhow, the guy comes in. he doesn't directly ask about the bugs, but just phrases my complaint in the form of a question: "i have a bedbug complaint here for allen?" i nod and say "yes, they're still biting me." that seems to be enough confirmation, so he comes in.

he says "ok, did the landlord treat with pesticides?" i tell him they used a fogger, just one time. he says they shouldn't use the fogger, the fogger doesn't work, and there should be at least three "real" treatments of proper pesticides.

then he asks "smoke detector? carbon monoxide detector?" i lead him to the hallway and flip on the light, to show him where the smoke detector is. it occurs to me then, for the first time, that i have never seen a carbon monoxide detector in this apartment even though they're mandatory now in nyc. we both check the livingroom, hallway, and bedroom and find no carbon monoxide detector. he writes it down on his form.

"fire escape window?" he asks. i point to the bedroom window with the air conditioner in it. i silently hope that's not an infraction too. mostly, i think, he's looking at the gate.

"okay," he says, and starts making for the door.

"but the bugs..." i stammer. "do you need any proof of that?" i think to the cluster of bug shells in my boxspring cover...and the fresh bite on my leg.

"no," he responds. "why would anyone make that up?" hm. good point. "did you go to the hospital or anything?

"no," i tell him, "but whenever i get bites, i take photos. and whenever i catch a bug, i tape it to a piece of paper so i can prove they're here." he was still walking towards the door, and opening it...

as he walked into the hallway (presumably looking for the other apartments he has to visit for bedbug inspections today), i cheerily said "have a good holiday!" which seemed foolish considering he's working on one of the few nationally recognized civic holidays in our country.

oh well. at least i was home when he came by.

nice to meet you too.

So I come home at 10:30pm, exhausted and gross from waiting 20 minutes for a damn train on a sweltering platform. I follow some guy into my building, then into my elevator. I push the button for my floor, and he for his. As the door closes, this stranger turns to me and says:

"Do you happen to have bed bugs?"

Responding as automatically as if he'd asked me for the time I said:

"Yes, yes I do."

I get off the elevator with him on his floor to talk about this in more detail. He tells me that he had bed bugs a while back (last year), and paid out of pocket for an exterminator. He deducted the cost from the rent, because the landlord should be paying. And now the landlord is filing for eviction. So, as he attempts to defend himself in court, he wonders if other people have bed bugs. I say yes. At least three units on my floor do.

I drill him further about how his unit was treated, by whom, and when. He gives me his business card so I can get him involved with our growing efforts to organize. I bid him good night and go back up the elevator to my own floor. When the door opens, there's my neighbor F, the one who has bed bugs and urged me to file a complaint with the city.

"Oh!" I shout. "I was just talking about you! I just ran into a guy who lives downstairs - the landlord is trying to evict him over withheld rent because of bed bug expenses!"

"Aw, yeah? The asian guy?"

"Um, no. White guy."

"Aw shit. Then there's ANOTHER one!" Then F tells me his latest update: court-mandated extermination, mandated to occur by June 24th, and hasn't happened yet. He says he caught up with our other neighbor, D, this morning, and after extermination she's still getting bit and found a bug on her bed this morning. F and I both have leases soon set to expire, and we wonder if we should just run away. But half the problem is the risk of taking the bugs with us. Would we be any better off??

We agree it's time to get organized somehow - even if only to warn our other neighbors on the floor that this is getting worse. And we know we're not alone in the building. We just know it.

sleep is not an option.

So tonight, like nearly every other night, I apply anti-itch cream to my bites and prepare to hop into bed. "Prepare" means to lift the mattress and look for bugs, inspect my pillows, look at my sheets. And tonight...oh, tonight.

During this "routine" inspection I notice something new. There's a wrinkled crease in my anti-bedbug boxspring cover, and inside the crease are...bugs, shells, and excrement. I feel simultaneously horrified and victorious to have finally identified (one of) their hiding places.

I go get my camera, delete the photos from mere hours ago cataloguing my bites, and start snapping new photos of this new, disturbing proof. But then I don't know what to do...

If the city housing authority needs to see evidence of infestation, this is it. But if I clean up the mess, it won't be here during their inspection (still not scheduled). But if I don't clean it up...how the hell can I sleep in my bed?? Knowing I will be chowed again tonight??

I considered the sofa, but it's hot tonight, and my only a/c is in the bedroom. I know the sofa would be hot and uncomfortable, and possibly equally infested. So...why not attempt the relative comfort of bedbugs WITH air conditioning, instead of bedbugs without.

Now I am lying here, wide awake, itchy, with all the lights on and the a/c blasting, wondering not IF I will be bitten tonight, but when, where, and how many times.

What's so insomnia-inducing about that??

okay seriously.

okay seriously. a new bite appeared while i was sitting here uploading photos and going over old posts. what the fuck is biting me at 8:00 in the evening while i'm sitting at my desk??? are they in my clothes??? AAAUUUGHHHHH!!!!

chomp chomp.

i could have sworn i did a bite check this morning and saw only one, but i was totally exhausted and might have been looking through squinty eyes. but just now, in response to itching, i looked in the mirror, and there are four new bites on my left arm, and one on my right.

sounds like another bedsheet changing is in order. (*sigh*)

and the city hasn't called me back yet to schedule an inspection. they said they'd call within 72 hours, so...excluding the weekend, i guess that means tomorrow. (*sigh*)

back at the laundromat...

The first reason I took the morning off from work was so I could call 311 from the privacy of my itchy home and file my complaint without my coworkers overhearing my embarrassing plight.

The second reason is this: laundry. Now that the bugs are undeniable, it seems wrong to do drop-off laundry, because they won't do the hot water and extra hot dryer I need to render my clothes "clean."

So I packed up my load, walked down to the big laundromat, and filled 4 washing machines (3 doubles, 1 triple). When the wash is done, I dry for extra long on extra heat. Then I put the "clean" clothes into plastic space bags and live out of them for weeks to come.

I'm annoyed I had to take (another) day off to deal with this (again), but waiting for the weekend seemed like a bad idea.

Here's to coin-free laundry and available machines...

Formal complaint day

I just got off the phone with the housing department. I filed a formal complaint for bedbugs in my apartment. I have a complaint number, and someone will contact me within 72 hours to set up an appointment.

Ever since bedbugs redux started up (not that it ever went away, but since they started biting me en force in my bed again), I'd been meaning to get the privacy to make the 311 call. Then, two days ago, I ran into my neighbor on the elevator. Our conversation went like this:

Him: "Hey, how you doin?"

Me: "You know. Okay. You?"

Him: "Girl, we got a SERIOUS bedbug problem goin on on our floor. I can't get rid of 'em, M down the hall's got 'em."

Me: "And I've got 'em too. You should see the bites on my arm from last night."

Him: "You have to call the city."

Me: "I know, I know. I keep meaning to."

We then lamented about how we feel like social pariahs because we don't want to invite any friends into our infested homes, nor do we want to bring bugs with us and infest anyone else's homes. He told me he got rid of his bed. I told him I spent a few hundred bucks protecting mine. I said all my clothes were in plastic bags, he said his were too. I said whatever the super sprayed didn't do shit. He agreed.

So when I called the city today, I made sure they knew that my neighbors were also having problems. For what it's worth, anyway. We need to all have complaints filed so the true severity of the problem is known and recorded. I think I got myself a new mission!

midnight snack.

*Huge sigh*

Two mornings ago, I woke up with a few bites in a few places. The most visible collection was on my right arm - a cluster of 3 or 4 bites right where tricep meets armpit. I moaned and groaned and cursed as I showered and got dressed. I could no longer deny that these blood-sucking little bastards had found their way back into my bed.

That night, I worked until 7:30, I got home at 8:30, I cooked dinner and ate, watched a bit of TV, and was thoroughly exhauted when I wandered into my bedroom at 11:00. And I stared at my bed knowing that I will be bitten again. It's an awful sensation, knowing that your place of supposed respite from the noisy chaos of life is providing no respite at all, because as you sleep, tiny things crawl all over your body and eat you. Good luck sleeping with that on your mind!

But I crawled in anyway. I tossed and turned all night. I would wake up suddenly and scratch furiously at my elbow. Or my knee. Or whatever tickled spot I felt at the moment. I twitched and jolted and whimpered through the night. Sleep? What sleep.

So I get up in the morning (yesterday) and do my daily mirror inspection. To my horror, I find that they've bitten me in the same tricep-armpit spot, and now there's a HUGE red cluster of nasty blotches. And there are two other bites on the back of my arm. And two on my knee. And one on my elbow. I KNEW I'd felt them biting my knee when I woke up in the middle of the night - and here is my evidence! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

I take a shower and cycle through my limited wardrobe (all my clothes are in plastic bags) to find something with long enough sleeves to cover my disgusting red splotchy arm. Not having the right clothes to cover it just depresses me, and I sit on my bed pouting and trying to think of other clothes. I finally dig out a wrinkled mid-sleeve shirt and throw it on. I don't even care anymore.

I trudge through my day at work, totally exhausted from not getting any sleep, and feeling like shit in general for being so itchy (I know carry benedryl anti-itch cream in my purse) and dressing so sloppily. I work late because I arrived late, and get home late, and eat late as a result.

Then, as I march into my bedroom, I realize I cannot make myself get into this bed. I turn to look at what replacement bedding options I have. The last two sets of sheets are in a bag, waiting to be laundered. (I can't do laundry as often as these damn bugs require.) I have nothing else...or so I think. I dig out a box on my closet floor, and find two sets of clean sheets!

I was so exhausted, so emotionally drained, and yet I stood there at 11pm and stripped my bed. I put all the stripped sheets and pillowcases into trash bags and tied them up, air-tight. I put my only light blanket into a trash bag too, as well as the PJs I'd worn the night before. I lifted my expensive-bedbug-proof-covered mattress up and examined it and the boxspring to look for bugs, and saw none. I checked the zippers on the mattress cover, the boxspring cover, and my pillow covers. I put the new sheets on. I pulled the bed away from the wall, put on clean PJs, and fell into bed. I slept fitfully with only a sheet covering me.

This morning, I woke up with no new bites. So I wonder if the little fuckers are in the trash bag with the sheets, or if they're just trying to find their way back to me from the wall.

Either way, I hope I can sleep a little better tonight, just this one night, and avoid being a midnight snack. I'm sure they'll find me again in no time.

Photos taken of the bites before (left) and after (right) my shower.

Updated on 6/29 to add photos (finally).

More evidence.

Last night, I was in a foul mood. I mean, really fuckin' cranky. Miserable to the point of silence, really. I had no emotions left in me. I just wanted to watch TV and zone out, but I couldn't.

My cousin, who had been spontaneously tossed out of her sublet in Manhattan and was crashing on my couch for the last couple of weeks, was finally, FINALLY cleaning up her crap that had spread across my livingroom both horizontally and vertically.

As she filtered through the sedimentary layers of her strewn clothing, she yelled "UH OH!" She ran to me with a section of shirt pulled taught between her hands, and we both observed as a full sized, recently fed bed bug dashed across the fabric.

"Fuck." I said, without emotion.

"Do you want me to save it for you?" she asked.

"No." I said. "Just kill it. I don't fucking care."

In hindsight, I should have said yes. Another specimen for my collection. But I just couldn't deal this time. I couldn't deal with the reality that her finding implied: that the itches and tickles I felt at night were not just my imagination; that they were still very here, and still very hungry; that all my clothes in plastic bags were going to have to stay that way for a while longer.

bitten. on the couch.

Well, it seems the bedbugs have found their way to my livingroom couch. Last night, while feeling particularly unwell and trying to relax after work, I dozed off on the couch. I woke up scratching myself all over. No wonder why.

I count 4 bites on my left leg, 10 on my left arm, and a few others in random places.

This discovery made me want to cry. In fact, I did cry. Just when I thought the bites from the bedroom were dying down, it tunrs out that's only because they found a new place to infest. I finally get my life, my house, my couch back after my houseguest of 2 months leaves, and within days I'm being chowed by bugs.

I will call the super later and update him on the situation. Surely this means my days of sifting through plastic bags of clothes every morning won't be over any time soon.

But mostly, I'm nervous about my pending trip to see my family in Florida. How do I avoid bringing the bugs with me?? I'm seriously considering just showing up with nothing, and buying whatever clothes I need when I get there. It seems the safest, and I do not want to subject my family to this torture.

impervious little bastards.

i just caught another live bedbug, the second one this week. i went into the bathroom and there he was, hiding in the window sill. i've gotten quite good at detecting that flat, round dark speck in places where there wasn't one before.

curiously, however, i haven't had a giant itchy red welt in a couple of days. i would have believed myself to be on the path to freedom, if i hadn't just caught this lousy little fucker tonight.

sample specimen #4: 28 Feb 2009.

uh oh.

when i left the apartment today, there was a bookshelf in the hallway with a note on it saying "may have bedbugs" (and a corresponding sad face).

i don't know who put it there, but i know it wasn't me...which means someone else on my floor suspects bedbugs in their apartment.

while it's almost reassuring to know i'm not alone, it super double sucks that the possibly-infested bookshelf was sitting right outside my apartment door. might as well roll out a welcome mat that says "hey guys, come on in! your friends are already here!"

4 more doubles, 2 more triples, 4 more bites

Another day at the laundromat. This time I didn't rush over her, figuring I'd let the morning folks finish up first. It worked. There's only liky 10 people here total and I have my pick of machines.

I filled up 4 more double loaders, and 2 more triples. I hope I have enough space bags to put it all; I may need more of the cube ones. They're the best.

It was rough this past week getting dressed for work every morning. Rooting through even a clear space bad isn't easy. And everything needs to be ironed. And you can't put anything back into the "clean" space bags after it is worn/contaminated. Pain in the ass.

Worst part is: I don't think the bugs are gone. I woke up this morning with 4 new red welts on my arms, after ignoring 3 itchy welts on my back yesterday. I will probably have to call the super again and see what our next step is. But at least I followed advice with the clothes - they are protected in bags no matter what happens next.

Gotta go - dryer's calling...

wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm at the laundromat, day 2. My first round of clothes (6 washes, 5 double loads and one triple) will be dry in about 16 minutes. I have already dropped about $25 here today, and I'm just getting started.

I had to basically prioritize my clothes into batches, based on how much I can carry now that I dropped $20 for a shopping cart. (It's brooklyn, everyone has them.) Problem is, I'm guessing what's in the garbage bags based on how much (or little) I can see through them, and apparently I'm wrong. A lot.

So next I will fold them, put them in space bags, schlep them home, pick up 7 or 8 new bags, and start all over again. All I know is, this better be worth it. Those little fuckers better be gone.

GONE!!

sofa city

okay, so, i can't bring myself to put my bed together and sleep on it without my boxspring condom. i read that it's important to supply your body as "bait" after a treatment, or you'll never know if it worked. but...i think i deserve one night on the sofa.

the problem - well, at least one of them - is that all my blankets are in garbage bags. i procured an allergy pillow cover and tossed it on the couch. my pjs - all i had out were the ones from my bed, which again i'd read shouldn't be worn anywhere else after treatment, just in case there were bugs IN the clothes. (ew.)

so i went for the one bag of the cleanest clothes - the ones i had just laundered the night the first bites occured. i picked out some sweatpants and a long-sleeve shirt. i shook them out vigorously in the bedroom and put them on. i headed to bed on the couch, sans blankets.

and of course, i was cold. i was very cold. i tossed and turned and whimpered all night. at some point, i grabbed the throw pillows and put them on top of my body to trap whatever heat i could. i snuggled in closer to the sofa cushions. i longed for my bed. it was a rough night.

so today i will go out and find a cover for the boxspring - a decent but cheap one - so i can put my room back together and get some real sleep. probably i'll also have another round with the sharpie, just so i can identify any new bites that occur, if they occur, which i really, really hope doesn't happen.

mmm, toxicity.

my super showed up at 8am, as scheduled. i scrambled to get the last of my garbage bags of clothes out of the bedroom as he laid newspaper on the floor and placed a canister on it.

"we need to flip up the mattress," he said. as i dragged the bags down the hall, he hoisted the mattress up and leaned it against the wall.

"this doesn't look bad," he said. he pointed to the top of the mattress. "but there's one right there...crawling."

"BASTARD!" i hissed through closed teeth. "i bet that's the one that's been biting me."

with that, the super said he had to switch off all the circuit breakers as a precaution. he hadn't warned me of that, so i was relieved that i'd spent all my money on plastic bags and laundry detergent and had none left to fill my fridge with food.

he snapped the fuse switches off one by one as i put on my jacket and grabbed my bags.

"you ready?" he asked.

"you bet."

he flipped the cap and started the fogger - TAT it said on the can - and we bolted out the door.

i had every intention of coming home from work around 1:00 or 2:00, getting the fridge back on, doing laundry, cleaning up and putting my life back together -- but it didn't happen. i didn't get out the door until after 4:00. i also planned on hitting futon furniture city on my way home, since they sell the allerzip products there. quick in-and-out, i figured. ha.

i had called FFC yesterday - less than 24 hours ago - to verify they had what i needed. somehow, snce then, they'd sold out of half the package: boxspring covers. i paid $98 + tax for the mattress cover and decided to try my boxspring luck at the nearby bed bath & beyond and was shocked to see the ENORMOUS selection of mattress covers they had in the bedding department. they had nothing boxspring-specific, and i was not in the mood to drop another $90-$100 for a mattress cover to use as a boxspring cover. (i don't know what the distinction is in my head, except that the boxspring doesn't get as much direct contact and use, so its cover need not be as comfortable or fancy.)

the woman at BBB was super nice and, curiously enough, super inquisitive. she examined my allerzip cover, and then was asking me a ton of questions. do you have bedbugs? have you seen them? have you been bit? what do the bites look like? has your home been treated? what was it treated with? did it work? she was very sweet, and i believe her curiosity was actually to help her do her job better, in assisting customers who purchase her products. she said many people speak with a hushed whisper, afraid to admit in public they have such a problem. i laughed and said "not me. whatever. i can admit when i need help. besides, it's not my fault i got them. it's not like i'm a dirty person."

anyhow, i left BBB empty-handed, as every reasonably-priced full-sized mattress cover was out of stock, just like at FSC. i decided to hit target again, since i was there yesterday and they had an aller-something cover for abotu $25. but, lo and behold, they were sold out too, in the last 24 hours. everyone at all these stores told me the same thing: they sell out of their bedbug products at a ridiculous pace, because the problem has become so widespread in the city. ridiculous. so i headed home around 7:00 to my dark, toxic apartment.

in the elevator, i bumped into my next-door neighbor. i decided to come clean (ha). i warned him of my saga, the potential threat to his apartment and his little bulldog, and we sat in the hall and talked for a few minutes. he was very understanding, and grateful for the heads up. he too asked a lot of questions, eventually requesting to peek his head into my apartment to see how bad the fogger smelled. i obliged, despite being totally embarrassed by the state of things inside. "if it's really bad, i'll catch you if you faint," he offered.

i unlocked the door and to our surprise, the fogger left no smell. i flipped all my circuit breakers back on and shrugged at the relative normalcy. time will tell, i guess. i bid my neighbor goodnight, and closed the door.

credit or debit? or just...debt?

okay, so now reality is setting in. and it SUCKS.

i went to target. i bought the following:

• 6 space bags - $33
• 2 pillow protectors - $15
• laundry detergent - $10

i called the place that sells allerzip mattress and boxspring covers. they said:

• mattress cover - $109
• mattress + boxspring pair - $159

the laundromat i'm facing averages out:

• single wash - $2.25
• single dry - $1.50
• extra dry heat to kill bugs - $1.00
• total per load: $4.75
• number of loads: 12-15
• total cost: $57-72

and of course none of this includes expenses like new pillows, dry cleaning, cortizone to stop the itching, makeup to cover the welts, or most importantly -- the cost of extermination.

so now i'm starting to see why bedbugs seem like a "poor man's problem." i mean, really, if you have the money to do all these things easily, it will help eliminate the bugs. even better, if you can replace all your buggy stuff by buying new stuff, and can afford to have multiple pesticide treatments, you're in GREAT shape. but me? i'll be raiding the coin jar for laundry money. i'll be able to EITHER dry clean some clothes OR buy food that week. i just don't have the financial wiggle room right now to make this problem go away.

specimen affirmative.

Knock knock. "Exterminator."

I let him in, and led him to the kitchen. As he squirted his chemical goo in my cabinets, I assaulted him with bedbug questions.

"So I called my super today to say I have bedbugs. If I showed them to you, could you confirm it?"

"Yeah," he said. "You have a sample?"

A sample? You mean the crawly assholes I taped to a piece of paper? Yes, I have a sample. I handed the paper to him.

"Yeah," he said, squinting at them. "Those are bedbugs."

"Awesome. I mean, not awesome that I have them, awesome that you confirmed them. I mean, it's just so lucky that you're here today. I didn't even know you came on Tuesdays. I mean Thursdays. Whatever. I'm never home during the week. I'm only home today because I have to do all my laundry and stuff to prepare for the super tomorrow."

I couldn't stop there.

"So the super, he's coming in with some store-bought product tomorrow and treating my bedroom. Do you think that will do the trick?"

"Without knowing what he's using, it's really hard to say."

"Fair enough. I just read that most store-bought products are sub-par for bedbugs, and really you need a professional to treat everything."

"Like I said ma'am, without knowing what he's using, it's hard to say. But we do bedbug treatments too. Today is just the standard roach treatment, but we can come back for bedbugs if you need it."

With that, I set the exterminator free, only after I resisted the urge to hug him.

facing reality.

Last night, Kirby came bolting out of the bathroom, grabbed the scotch tape from beside me, and bolted back to the bathroom. A moment later she returned with a taut piece of tape stretched between her fingers, and a little round bug whose back was caught by adhesive was kicking wildly as it tried to free itself.

"You said to save it, right?" she asked.

"Yes," I sighed. "Shit. Another one?"

Together we stuck it on the paper where I taped the first bug. I pulled out the sharpie and marked the date: 11 Feb 2009.

It was then I knew. My hopes of this being a one-off one-bug problem were crushed. We had two now, two are a pair. Two can breed. I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. In the morning I would call the super, or building management, the cavalry -- whoever I needed to call.

So this morning I didn't rush off to work. I took a shower, and called the super around 8:30. I had rehearsed the message I would leave on his cell phone, a curt "Hi Billy, it's Stephanie in 6A. I have a problem and I need you to call me back. Thanks." I was afraid if I left details in the voicemail, he'd never return my call, pretending he never knew I had the problem.

But to his credit, he answered the phone. So I revised my rehearsed lines. "Hi Billy, it's Stephanie in 6A. I believe I have a bedbug problem."

"Aww. [Sigh.] Okay..."

"We found a second one last night, crawling on the wall. I saved it. I verified against photos online that it's a bedbug. I have bites all over my arms and legs."

Billy then told me what we were going to do. He has some sort of spray or pesticide, provided to him by management, for treating bedbugs. While I have my doubts that this will work, based on things I've read online, I guess I can't say no. It's worth a try. So Billy is going to come tomorrow morning when I'm ready to leave for work around 8:00, spray/bomb my bedroom, and then clear out. He says we need to keep the apartment empty for 2-3 hours after he treats.

I asked him what I need to do to prepare for this treatment. He gave me the expected list: strip off the bed linens, take all the clothes out of all the drawers and the closets, put everything in sealed plastic bags, etc. I could feel the life draining out of me as I imagined the money and time to be spent in this exercise, but I know it has to be done. I will call Billy later to confirm.

So then I called in to work, saying I needed the morning if not the whole day to prepare for urgent "maintenance" on my apartment. I'm so embarrassed to admit this problem, even though I know it's not my fault. I know it's not about cleanliness or hygiene. But still, there's a stigma attached.

Then I got ready to head out to Target. I need to buy big Ziploc or Space Bags -- clear ones -- to put all my clothes and linens (and drapes and towels) in after I wash them. I called into a place on 14th street (Manhattan) who carries the Allerzip mattress covers, and they're open til 8pm. As I was doing all this research online, and about to head out the door -- someone knocked on it.

"Exterminator."

I have never, ever been so thrilled to have this man at my door.

it's worse than i thought.

so, i've been spending a lot of time on bedbugger.com. like, a LOT of time. i want to know what i'm up against. i want to know how other people deal with it. i want to know who has to pay for all this bullshit, if i have to wash ALL my laundry at once. i want to know everything -- including the things i don't want to know.

i was reading up on the "who has to pay" section for new york city, and i saw this link to the city's housing violations page. i thought, "hm, i'll go check that out for fun." whoa, did that ever backfire.

i entered my building's address, and found my way to the complaint history. i was a bit alarmed at how many results came back. i mean, i guess it is a fairly large building. 6 floors, apartments A-O so that's like...15 or so per floor? a good 90 units or more, i guess. but still, too many results to leave me unconcerned.

i scanned the list and saw it -- BEDBUGS. it was a vermin problem for apartment 4B. 4B! I'm in 6A, and A is next door to B, so all those little fuckers had to do was climb the walls and let themselves in. That complaint was filed in July 2008, and eventually closed because access could not be gained to verify resolution.

but then...something worse appeared. I saw 6A in one of the columns. i followed the line across, and there it was: 6A -- Vermin -- Cockroaches -- Entire Apartment. I seriously almost threw up.

The complaint was lodged in Feb 2008 - almost exactly a year ago. And like the 4B bedbug complaint, it was eventually closed because no one could gain access to verify resolution. So...basically, to summarize, I moved into an apartment with a known roach infestation, AND MY REALTOR NEGLECTED TO TELL ME THIS when i EXPLICITLY asked him if there were any problems with bugs. Any lawyers out there? Do i have a case here?? Did you read about the one crawling on my arm??

I'm not one to deny responsibility when I do things wrong. I know now that I should have and will henceforth and evermore check that website before I move into a building in this city. But shit. SHIT! At least I know I'm not imagining the overabundance of fucking roaches in this place -- but add bedbugs to it and I'm sure apartment 6A will be back on that list in no time. NO TIME.

ugggggggh. Fuck.

signs of life.

finally today i feel almost human again. that cold i caught -- wow. it totally kicked my ass this weekend. all day saturday i had this unbearable sinus/migraine headache that pulsated through my entire face and jaw. my eyebrows hurt. my hair hurt. my teeth hurt. i spent most of the weekend on the couch with kirby.

on sunday night, as i sat nearly comatose in front of the television, kirby jumped up fast and gapsed - a reaction i've come to know as "shit, a bug" or more specifically, "shit, a big roach." somehow defying my headache, i too jumped and reached for the Raid, only to hear kirby say it was too late, the bug ran under the couch.

despite my throbbing migraine hangover, and despite having my glasses on because my eyes were tearing up constantly, i got on my hands and knees and peered under the couch with a flashlight. i saw no movement, but i blasted some Raid anyway, in a general, left-to-right movement. i regeretted it almost instantly, as the "fresh garden" scent penetrated my nose and eyeballs and made me want to cry voluntary tears in addition to the ones already streaming from my eyes.

i crawled back up on the couch to finish watching the movie. about a half hour later, i felt a tickle on my arm. being extra jumpy lately because of the "i think i have bedbugs" thing, i quickly rolled my arm to see what was tickling me. to my horror, an inch-long roach was on my forearm. i jumped up, smacked it off, and burst into tears.

"WHY IS MY WHOLE APARTMENT FILLED WITH BUGS!?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!?! FUCKING NEW YORK! FUCKING ROACHES!"

crying did me no good, because i was already so congested, and it sure as hell didn't make the bugs go away. so i sat back down to watch the rest of the movie through gloopy, teary eyes.



on monday i returned to work against my will, trying to muscle through all the work we have, only to find out my other key colleague had called in sick with a cold. that didn't piss me off TOO much.

but today, i'm feeling okayish. and while that is good news, it is unfortunately not the only sign of life in my bedroom. i'm also getting MORE BITES.

still they're all on my arms, and much easier to detect now thanks to my genius sharpie trick. but now i have these two obnoixious bites on my wrists, in nearly identical locations on each arm -- right upon that knobby radial wristbone. and boy, do these mofos itch. like seriously, painfully itch. and they're so red, and so obvious to a casual observer, that i'm increasingly embarrassed of my plight. i told only one person at work about my "situation" (to which her response was "FUCK!"), but i bet everyone else thinks i'm some dirty girl with poor hygiene. and they don't even know i had a roach on my arm. ugh. how gross. it's all just so gross.

i also told a few people in my family of the increasing likelihood that i have bedbugs. everyone seems to know someone who had to deal with this, and it is never a good story. never. it only makes me further dread the mess ahead of me, which i've been putting off by using hardcore denial tactics. but even denial can't make these itchy welts go away.

make it go away!

so, i'm coming to terms with the fact that i might have a bedbug problem. every night, as i crawl into bed, i hear my father saying "good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!" i never got it. not until now. not until i started crawling into bed, exhausted, dreading my sleepless night ahead, and praying "please don't let the bedbugs bite me."

but alas, each morning i awake with new marks. in fact, there are so many that tonight i pulled out my black sharpie and started circling the bites on my arms and legs so i can tell when i get a new bite. the ones i couldn't reach, i asked kirby to circle for me. she, somehow, still seems free of any such bites.

i had fully intended to come home tonight and get straight to work cleaning up, but i caught this horrible cold that intensified dramatically during the day today while i was at work. now i'm miserable and can hardly breathe, and so cleaning up isn't happening tonight. maybe tomorrow. but really, i'm just hoping that after a few days i'll stop getting bitten, and i can say i caught the one and only culprit, and he's imprisoned on a piece of paper on my desk.

mostly, i'm just dreading the sheer amount of work it will take to get rid of this problem. so, i kinda want to ensure that i really DO have a problem before i spend all the money and time to fix it. i debate calling 311. i debate calling the super. but...for now, i will just wait and see. i have to at least wait until this cold goes away and i can breathe again.

i detect a pattern here...

i woke up this morning and examined myself in the mirror. it was clear that i'm officially getting bitten by something. i saw about 10 bites on my arms, and one on my leg. one bite on each arm was ENORMOUS, like a 2-inch diameter red itchy welt. either they're biting harder, or my tolerance is decreasing.

kirby, out on the sofabed in the livingroom, seems to be unaffectd so far.

i got online and googled "bed bug bites" and found myself on bedbugger.com, looking at the photos people submitted of their bites. it hit a little too close to home.

so when i got home from work tonight, i went into the bedroom and pulled the sheets back. i scanned the open bed and saw nothing. i ran my hands over it -- more nothing. then i picked up the pillows...

i actually twitched when my eyes detected dark matter in my pristine sheets. i knew right away i was looking at blood. but the location was bizarre. but as i got closer, i saw next to it was a little round dead bug.

since it was dead, i left it all alone and ran back to the computer. bedbugger.com said a few things that were relevant here:

1. if you find a bug, save it. tape it to an index card or something so you can prove to your landlord or pest control people that you do, in fact, have bugs.
2. some people never, ever find a bug. if you find one, you're lucky. don't throw it away.
3. it is not uncommon to find blood on bedsheets. it's a result of a bug biting, and a person rolling over and killing it while it's fresh.

so i grabbed my tape dispenser from the desk, went back to the bedroom, and picked up the critter. i taped it to a piece of paper and labeled it with the date. i brought the paper back out to the computer, where i returned yet again to bedbugger.com to review the images of bugs they had. i had a dead ringer.

FUCK!

envisioning the battle i have ahead of me with the landlord and/or super, i also took a photo of the blood smear in my bed.
it's going to be a long-sleeve day today.

why am i so itchy?

it all started one saturday morning.

i woke up and noticed i had these to red welts on my right arm, where my bicep is (or should be). it was like 5 degrees that morning, a horrid cold spell, so i thought it must be dry skin or something. i left it at that.

i woke my house full of guests. erin and michelle were sleeping on the sofabed. kirby was with me in my bed. i'd picked erin and michelle up at Port Authority the night before, around midnight. we drove home, and at that late hour kirby and i made the beds with new sheets, since we'd just done the laundry a few hours earlier at the laundromat.

i made my bed. i made it with my favorite light blue modal sheets. i stretched the fitted edges. i tucked the corners. i never saw anything suspicious.

the next morning i woke again, with two new additional red welts. they now had my attention. i considered an allergic reaction to the laundry detergent. kirby had used hers instead of mine. but...why would i only get a reaction on my upper right arm?

sunday night, erin and michelle went home. kirby returned to her life on the sofabed. i slept alone in my bed, not yet suspicious or concerned.